


Rey and Finn’s Plan to Fix Ben Solo’s Post-War Reputation

by radioactivesaltghoul



Series: when in doubt, fake a relationship [4]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben "Panicking in Bisexual" Solo, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Finn "See Ben people like you", Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Multi, No Pregnancy, OT3, Polyamory, Rey "I'm happy to share you with Finn" of Jakku, Safe to Read if You're Triggered by Pregnancy, mild angst because ben solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26689162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radioactivesaltghoul/pseuds/radioactivesaltghoul
Summary: Ben Solo has a problem: despite the fact that he left the First Order to fight alongside the Resistance and win the war, causing as much damage as he could on the way out, nobody trusts him. New Republic society remains fractured into the parts that used to be the Resistance and stormtroopers that are learning how to live outside of the routines and rules of First Order life, and Ben doesn’t fit in with either. Finn, who has been the forerunner of the stormtrooper rehabilitation efforts, thinks that if Ben pretends to date him, that will make him fit in among the remnants of the First Order. To Ben’s surprise, Rey has the same idea for helping him fit into New Republic society.This would be a lot simpler if Ben didn’t have feelings for both of them.
Relationships: Finn/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Finn/Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: when in doubt, fake a relationship [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1865542
Comments: 14
Kudos: 28
Collections: Finnlo-Focused Multiship Anthology 2020, Queerly Beloved Reylo Fics





	1. Finn's Plan

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a huge sucker for the "fake/pretend relationship trope" and couldn't resist finding a way to make it work with finnreylo because I love writing about these three being dumb and clueless about each other. Participating in the 2020 Finnlo-Focused Multiship Anthology was the kick I needed to pull it together, so a huge thank you to everyone who organized and participated this year.

“I have a proposition for you.”

Why, oh _why_ did those words fill Ben with so much nervous anticipation? He trusted Finn. When Ben had left the First Order to team up with them in the fight against Palpatine, he’d been surprised at how quickly Finn had accepted that he’d left the First Order behind for good. Given that he’d once tried to kill Finn, leaving a nasty scar in the process, Ben had assumed that the runaway stormtrooper would be the last one to forgive him.

Then one night Ben, Finn, and a handful of other Resistance fighters were killing time while waiting for Dameron’s squadron to return from a mission. Every time Ben looked at Finn, he was quick to look away, biting back a smile. When Ben had confronted him about it, Finn had laughed and said, “Who’s the traitor now?”

Ben had nearly smiled at that. “Point taken.” And ever since then, they’d been… He wasn’t quite sure _friends_ was the right word, but then again, he didn’t have a lot of experience with friendships. It was nice knowing that there was someone there who understood what it was like to run from the First Order into the Resistance, even if that wasn’t the originally intended plan.

Especially since that wasn’t the originally intended plan, actually.

Ever since the war had ended, everyone’s role in the Resistance had shifted into something that aimed to rebuild the galaxy after the war. Everything had been chaotic in the first few months after the war ended, but they’d slowly settled down over time.

Finn, for example, found his place leading a program to help rehabilitate former stormtroopers. Despite Hux’s best efforts, not all of the stormtroopers had been willing to die in the service of the First Order. A surprising number of them had defected before the end of the war, taking advantage of the chaos Ben left behind when he’d gone and rallying behind Finn, but there had been plenty of stormtroopers that had stayed. Too many to simply throw in prison. Besides, it wasn’t fair to punish soldiers for being afraid to leave the only life they’ve ever known; no one knew this more than the man formerly known as FN-2187.

If Ben was being honest, Finn’s devotion to providing support for former stormtroopers was one of the things he admired about him. Ben had some involvement in the program, but it wasn’t really meant for him, and his presence could occasionally be... _overwhelming_ for the participants. Seeing their former boss wandering around was bad for morale. As much as Ben loved spending time with Finn and supporting his efforts, he always felt guilty when he noticed a former stormtrooper bursting into tears at the sight of him. Finn didn’t seem to have the same reservations as Ben did; he made that very clear whenever the topic came up.

“What’s your proposition?” Ben asked warily, wracking his brain for clues as to what Finn was thinking about.

“I don’t think the former stormtroopers see you as fully human,” Finn said. Before Ben could storm off at the insult tugging up memories of Rey in those first few chaotic days after Starkiller Base was destroyed, Finn plowed on. “No, listen. You’ve got all sorts of crazy Force powers that no one knows anything about. It freaks most people out, not just the ‘troopers.”

It took him a moment to realize that Finn was waiting for a response. Or, rather, a reassurance that Ben wasn’t going to go take a lightsaber to another control panel in anger. It didn’t seem the right time to bring up Finn’s previously overlooked and currently ignored Force-sensitivity, so he simply said, “Go on.”

“So, here’s the thing.” For the first time in a long time, Finn seemed nervous. That didn’t bode well. “I had an idea for how to, well, _humanize_ you in their eyes.”

Ben wasn’t sure he liked where this was going.

“We should pretend to be together.” The words came out in a whoosh, like Finn needed to get them out before he lost his nerve.

“And by ‘together’, you mean…?” Ben asked, afraid of the answer

“Like, _together_ together. Like a relationship.”

Ben blinked. “Are you...asking me out on a date?” The idea that anyone would want to date Ben, much less the symbol of hope to former First Order soldiers across the galaxy, was so absurd that he didn’t even know how to answer it.

_Would_ he date Finn? Ben would rather eat a rathtar than admit it, but he’d admired Finn ever since that night in Tuanual, when he refused a direct order to kill innocent villagers. They got along well; aside from having the whole “First Order treason” thing in common, they worked smoothly together. Spending a lot of time fighting side-by-side had formed a sort of bond with them, especially since they’d both been called in to interpret errant First Order intel multiple times towards the end of the war.

Rey often trained with them, too. Not because there was any real need to fight anymore, but because they all enjoyed it. There was a certain energy they all got from training together. And, sure, some of it was that Ben was a little turned on by the sight of Rey standing over him after having bested him in combat (a secret he would take to the grave), but he also enjoyed watching Finn and Rey work together. The way they moved together wasn’t the same kind of synchronicity that he had with Rey thanks to their Force bond, but Finn and Rey had a good instinct for where the other would be when they teamed up. It was beautiful to watch, honestly. He hadn’t spoken to either of them about it, but he was fairly certain they relied on some sort of Force connection as well.

Not to mention the fact that Finn was pretty easy on the eyes, something that Ben had been spending more and more time thinking about as the months wore on. Too much time, if he was being honest. He probably wasn’t supposed to feel this way about one of his closest friends.

But then again, look at his and Rey’s relationship. Ben’s feelings for both Finn and Rey were a mixture of attraction, admiration, and complete disbelief that either of them would want anything to do with him.

“No, not a date,” Finn said, interrupting Ben’s train of thought as it started to veer off the rails. “A fake date.”

That put Ben’s train of thought on a completely different set of rails. “What’s the point of going on a fake date?”

“Two points,” Finn explained. “One, seeing you displaying affection for someone—me—makes you look more human, and therefore more approachable.” Ben didn’t particularly appreciate the reminder that the vast majority of former stormtroopers were terrified of him, but Finn continued before Ben could say anything. “And two, if they see that you and I could get past our shared history and fall in love, it might help them understand that you’re sticking around for good.”

At the mention of _love_ , Ben felt his stomach lurch. “You’re making a lot of assumptions,” he said, hoping to distract Finn enough that he’d take this as a rejection without Ben actually having to say no.

“Like what?”

“I’m not an affectionate person.” Touching hands with Rey in the days leading up to the battle on Crait was the most physical affection he’d had in years, and he hadn’t had much more than that since. The occasional finger brushes when handing each other things didn’t count, even if it was still electrifying whenever he and Rey brushed hands.

In response, Finn grabbed Ben’s hands, twining their fingers together. His hands were warm, sending a shiver down Ben’s spine as he realized what Finn meant by the gesture “All we need is this. See?”

“Just this?” Ben asked. “No...kissing?”

He didn’t know what he expected Finn to say, but it wasn’t “I would never ask you to do something you weren’t comfortable with.” He gave Ben’s hand a quick squeeze, then dropped it. “So, what do you think? Want to give it a try?” When Ben didn’t immediately respond, Finn added, “We’d only have to do it around former stormtroopers. We don’t have to pretend to be in a relationship otherwise. No one else has to know about this. Boundaries, you know?”

Well, if it was only a part-time thing...it couldn’t hurt, could it? “Sure,” Ben said, praying he wasn’t making a huge mistake. “We can give it a try.”

The way Finn beamed at him made him feel warm all over. “Great,” he said. “So, you wanna be my date to the mixer tonight?”

* * *

Ben was already regretting agreeing to fake date Finn by that evening when he showed up at Ben’s apartment. “Ready to go?” he asked.

He couldn’t keep his eyes from roaming, then mentally kicked himself when he realized what he was doing. He couldn’t help it. What gave Finn the right to look so good in such simple clothing? Ben had seen him dressed up plenty of times in the year since the war had ended, after all of the ceremonies and celebrations they’d had to attend as key players in the victory against the First Order. And yet the casual trousers he was wearing paired with a simple linen shirt and jacket made Ben feel like he’d gone about this the wrong way, toning down his usual all-black garb with a lightweight grey jacket thrown on over a black tunic and trousers. “What’s wrong?” Finn asked.

“Nothing,” Ben said, embarrassed at the way he’d been caught staring.

Finn raised an eyebrow, seeming to expect him to elaborate. Like hell was Ben going to say _Sorry, I was staring at you because I can’t believe anyone would buy that you wanted to date me._ “Let’s just go,” he said, keying in the code to lock the door behind him.

They stood in silence while they waited for a speeder to come pick them up. Ben hadn’t felt this awkward around Finn since the _Who’s the traitor now?_ conversation six months ago. “So what’s the story?” he said, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Story?”

“Yeah. Don’t relationships usually have a story?” Not that he was an expert, or anything. The only relationship he’d ever been exposed to was his parents’, and that wasn’t exactly the best model. “Like, how did we meet?”

Finn snorted. “Ben, everyone knows how we met. We’re two of the most famous people in the galaxy.”

“...Good point.”

“But,” Finn added, “since we probably do need something to tell people about how we started dating, why don’t we stick to the truth?”

“You asked me to pretend to be in a relationship with you so that former stormtroopers would stop being so scared of me?” Ben couldn’t bring himself to say the words _in love_ , even if that was the vibe they were going for.

“We started spending a lot of time together and before we knew it, we were in love.”

“That’s not—“ Ben’s voice faltered. Finn wasn’t actually saying—no, there was no way.

Right?

“Well, no, not the _in love_ part, but the rest is.” He paused. “Okay, how about this: we were working on a project together late one night, and I leaned in and kissed you. It surprised both of us, but by that point we’d already fallen in love, so it was the next logical step in our relationship.”

Ben thought about it. It wasn’t a secret that they were friends; Finn was one of the only people he could stand to be in a room with for more than five minutes. “That...sounds reasonable,” he said slowly. “I think people will believe that.”

Finn nodded, looking relieved. “Now just follow me around all night and hold my hand, or something.”

“I follow you around all night whenever I attend one of your mixers, anyway.” The only reason he ever made an appearance at these things—which was rare—was because Finn had asked him to.

Finn grinned. “See? We won’t even have to do much to make this believable.”

_Uh-oh,_ thought Ben as the implication in Finn’s words hit him. _I think I’m in trouble._

* * *

Finn was a remarkably good actor. The way he slipped his hand into Ben’s before they walked into the function room at the Trinity Den Bar & Grille felt so natural that Ben barely realized what was happening. It wasn’t until he saw the confused, surprised, and, in more than a few cases, horrified facial expressions of the people around them that he realized that he and Finn were making a statement.

The thing was, as stormtroopers, they’d been raised to never question a superior officer. And even though Finn had never risen in the ranks within the First Order, most of them saw him as a superior officer. Ben, they _absolutely_ saw as a superior officer, even long after he’d abandoned his post as Supreme Leader.

One of the things Finn’s program worked on was helping them to break those habits, including _don’t question anyone_. Some of them took to the lessons more easily than others. And some of them took to the lessons a little too enthusiastically.

“Why are you holding Supreme—I mean, Solo’s hand like that?” Oranges, a former stormtrooper who served aboard the _Fortitude_ asked Finn.

_Oh, right,_ Ben thought. _This is where we officially announce our fake relationship._ He was suddenly overcome with anxiety about it.

He must have squeezed Finn’s hand or shuddered to make Finn realize how tense he’d gone, because a moment later, Finn dropped his hand in favor of sliding his arm around Ben’s waist. “He’s my date.”

Ben was used to awkward silences. They were an occupational hazard of being a warlord who ruled by fear, and they’d never gone away, even after he’d vacated the position and dropped the name Kylo Ren. But despite all of the practice, he’d never gotten good at dealing with them.

Finn squeezed Ben’s hip as if to say _Come on, don’t make me do all the work here._ “Right,” Ben said, gingerly lifting his arm so that he could sling it over Finn’s shoulders. “I’m his date.”

It was strange how natural that gesture felt. Finn was warm, his arm comforting and solid against Ben. They fit surprisingly well together, so much so that it almost distracted Ben into forgetting how awkward he felt. There were still whispers echoing around the room among the former stormtroopers, but Ben felt slightly relieved that Finn was holding firm about this. "Can we get some music going?" he said. "Isn't Twig supposed to be in charge of entertainment for the evening?"

Part of Ben was unnerved by how easy it felt to fall into the role of Finn's date. When had he gotten so comfortable around the former stormtrooper? For the longest time after Ben defected from the First Order, Rey was the only person he could be even marginally relaxed around, and that was because he knew that she wasn't going to let anything happen to him. She, like him, had spent enough time feeling like an outsider.

Maybe that was why she and Finn got along so well, even after all this time.

The evening went more smoothly than Ben had ever expected it would, and before he knew it, people were starting to filter out the door. "I think we've done our duty by making an appearance this evening," he murmured to Ben. "You ready to go?" Ben nodded, ready to be out of the public eye, but Finn said, “Oh, wait, I almost forgot,” which was followed immediately by a kiss.

Ben didn’t have much to compare it to, but he didn’t think he’d ever experienced such a shock of nerves after the few kisses he exchanged during games of ‘Spin the Lightsaber’ at the Jedi Academy when he was a teenager. It was such a chaste gesture, and yet it made him feel like his nerves were on fire.

He was still so wrapped up in the kiss that he didn't even realize they were still holding hands until Finn let go so that they could get in a speeder to head back to his apartment. "So that went well, I think," Finn said, leaning back in his seat. He hadn’t let go of Ben’s hand, something Ben was in no rush to point out. He was surprised by how much he liked having this small point of physical contact with Finn. It was a tangible reminder that they were united, even if the thing they were united on was a bad idea.

"You think they bought it?" Ben asked.

"They were surprised, that's for sure." Finn closed his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. "See? Was that so bad?"

To be honest, it had gone a lot better than Ben had originally thought it would. "No," he murmured, letting his gaze linger on Finn. "It wasn't. I think I even had fun for once."

Finn laughed. “Wow, what an endorsement.”

Ben felt his face heat up. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, trying to figure out what he _had_ meant by it. He liked spending time with Finn; that was not news. But the idea that he liked spending time with Finn as his boyfriend, well…

Uh-oh.

“I was being serious,” Finn said. “The famously grumpy Ben Solo, saying he had fun with me? I’m honored.”

Ben decided to ignore the idea that he might actually want to date Finn for real. “Yeah, well, you have that effect on people,” he said.

The smile Finn gave him was not helping Ben ignore the feelings he may or may not have had. “Maybe, but it’s _your_ opinion that I care about right now. And for the record,” he added, squeezing Ben’s hand, “I had fun, too.”

* * *

Ben was still turning his and Finn's new arrangement over in his mind three days later, when Rey turned to face him while they were cooling down after a workout. "I have an idea," she said. The smile on her face would have been more reassuring if Ben hadn't been able to feel her nervousness oozing off of her in the Force.

"What is it?" he asked warily. He trusted Rey as much as he trusted Finn, but her agitation was rubbing off on him.

Rey was never one to mince words. "You know how you...well, you scare people. Still."

As if that hadn’t been the central theme to his entire life ever since he was a kid. "Thanks for reminding me."

"No, listen," she said. "I know how we can fix it. We should pretend to date."


	2. Rey's Plan

Rey's suggestion for an arrangement was remarkably like Finn's. If Ben hadn't known any better, he'd have said that they were collaborating. But no, neither of them had given any indication that they’d informed the other about the plan. "There's no point to faking a relationship if everyone knows it's fake," Rey pointed out.

"But what's the point of faking one in the first place?" he asked, trying to find a way he could find out if she wanted this to be a full-time thing or just a part-time thing, like it was with Finn.

“Simple,” she said, sounding far more cool and comfortable than she had any right to be. "People already know we're close, given the whole Force-sensitive thing. They trust me as their Jedi hope and savior, but with you, they're..." She grimaced. "You know."

He didn't need a reminder of that. "Your point?"

"If we pretend to date, it'll show us as a united front,” she explained. “My obvious acceptance of you will make people see that you really are trustworthy."

It didn't seem simple or obvious at all. In fact, it sounded anxiety-inducing more than anything. What was Finn going to think if he learned that Rey and Ben were dating? What was Rey going to think when she learned that Finn and Ben were dating? "Listen," Ben said, scrambling for some sort of coherent response. "I can see where you're going with this, but there's something you need to know." He paused, struggling to decide whether to let Rey in on the truth or not.

"Well?" she asked, sounding much less confident than she had a moment ago.

Ben exhaled. She and Finn were close enough that there was a fair chance they'd let each other in on the secret anyway, he figured. "It's not that I'm opposed to the idea," he told her. "It's that Finn and I are already doing something similar with the former stormtroopers."

There was a beat of silence as Rey took in this information. Ben held his breath, unable to sense any reaction from her in the Force. And then—

She laughed. Big, gasping guffaws, laughing so hard she had to hunch over. "You're kidding," she said when she was able to speak.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" He knew he was as red as his old lightsaber in the face of Rey's amusement.

"Oh, my stars," she said. "That's hilarious." Ben wasn't sure which was the hilarious part: the idea of him and Finn together, or the fact that they were faking a relationship for nearly the same reasons Rey was suggesting. "Great minds think alike, right?"

Ben sighed. "Maybe we should talk to Finn."

Half an hour later, he learned that Finn was just as amused by the situation as Rey was, down to using the "Great minds think alike" line. Ben, who didn't find it nearly as hilarious as his now-fake boyfriend _and_ girlfriend did, scowled. "This is a terrible idea," he said, not for the first time.

"Why?" Rey asked. "You guys pulled it off in front of the former stormtroopers the other night, didn't you?"

There wasn't anything to argue, but that didn't stop Ben from trying. "That was one night in front of one group. How the hell are we supposed to carry on with this? It's not as if there's zero overlap in these circles."

“ _We_ are the only overlap in these circles, “ Finn said at the same time that Rey replied, "Fine. We don't have to make too big a deal of it, lest people spread rumors that you're cheating on me or Finn. But we could still pull it off." She paused suddenly as if something had occurred to her. "Unless you're ashamed of being seen with me as your girlfriend," she said, stepping away, a dawning look of horror on her face.

"No!" Ben said a little too quickly. "No, that's not it at all." Not for the first time, he wondered how the hell he and Rey had made it this far in their relationship without her realizing that he had practically fallen in love with her the day they'd met. "I mean, I know it's not real, but I wouldn't be any more ashamed of being seen as your boyfriend—" The word felt strange in his mouth "—than I would of being seen as Finn's boyfriend. It just seems like a risky plan and for what, for people to see that I'm definitely on their side? Rey, if people haven't figured that out by now, I don't think any amount of faking a relationship with you will change their minds about me."

It was possible that Ben and Rey having some things to discuss alone would have been visible even to someone blind to the Force, but Finn was capable of picking that up on his own. "I'm going to let the two of you figure this out," he said. "Just let me know what you decide. We can work this out however you're most comfortable, Ben." He clapped Ben on the shoulder just once, then he left, leaving Rey and Ben alone.

There was an awkward pause as they struggled to pull their thoughts together. "I'm not opposed to the idea of dating—well, pretending to date you," Ben explained gently. "I just don't want you to get caught in some elaborate scandal if someone thinks I'm cheating on you with Finn, or that I'm cheating on him with you."

"I don't care about my reputation," she said stubbornly. "I care about yours. It will scare people less to see us unite together. You sense that, don't you?" He nodded. "We'll just set some boundaries and make sure they don't overlap with Finn's boundaries, that's all," Rey said. Her relief was evident in the Force, and Ben tried not to read too much into it.

They agreed that it was easiest to follow the same guidelines Finn and Ben were using for their fake relationship, the main difference being that Ben and Rey would pretend to date when they were around former Resistance fighters instead of former stormtroopers. “If it’s working for you and Finn, it’ll work for us,” Rey said, as adamant as ever. “And if I’m being honest, I like having this secret between the three of us. It makes me feel like I’m in on something.”

“I hadn’t thought of it like that,” Ben admitted, smiling for the first time since they’d started plotting their fake relationship. “I like it, too. It means a lot to me that you and Finn both trust me.”

Rey’s happiness was evident both in her expression and in the Force, blossoming around them with a sort of warmth Ben still wasn’t accustomed to sensing from another Force-sensitive. “It means a lot to me that you trust both of us, too.”

—

Rey and Ben's first public appearance as a couple one week later was remarkably similar to Finn and Ben's first public appearance.

"The only reason I come to these things is the food," she whispered to Ben as they got out of the speeder. She'd met him at his apartment after they'd agreed that it would be easiest to arrive together.

"No, you come to these things because Poe Dameron pressures you into accepting by reminding you that you're the Jedi who killed what was left of Palpatine," he corrected.

"Hush," she said, giving his hand a squeeze. "You deserve credit for that, too."

"And look how well everyone took the news that the man formerly known as Kylo Ren arrived to give you back-up," he said wryly.

Rey stopped. Seeing as they were holding hands, something that both thrilled and flustered Ben, he stopped, too. "What?" he asked.

"You were there for me," she explained. "And that's all that matters."

It wasn't the first time she'd expressed this sentiment. It hadn't stopped making him feel warm, like he’d just had a cup of hot tea. "Of course," he told her. "I'll always be there for you. Even if it means accompanying you to one of these functions as your date."

She grinned at him. "In that case, what are we waiting for, _date_?"

These things always made Ben feel nervous, which is why he'd avoided showing up for them. The distrust he felt from everyone who had been in the Resistance was so palpable that he was sure that even Force-blind people must have been able to sense it. Rey gave zero fucks, pulling him along with her in a way that already felt familiar. She must have been expecting this in the same way Ben had. Growing up on Jakku had rendered Rey a little feral, and teaching her what were considered basic manners by the majority of people in the Resistance had been a chore, according to Finn and Rose.

Of course, Finn's etiquette education had been completely different; after being raised in the stormtrooper corps in the First Order, his idea of basic manners was that of a soldier who was being trained to avoid human connection and loyalty to anything other than his captain.

(He'd been _very_ satisfied to hear confirmation that Phasma had not made it out of the wreckage of the Supremacy after the Battle of Crait.)

Ben, who had grown up with Leia Organa for a mother, still felt uncomfortable whenever he saw Rey forgo utensils in favor of licking a plate clean. He had to admit, however, that he admired the way she didn't care about things like that. She'd rather save her energy for more important things, such as pretending to date Ben for the sole purpose of showing everyone in the former Resistance-slash-New Republic government where her loyalties lay. And Ben couldn't deny how much he loved her for it.

Rey locked onto Ben’s anxiety as soon as they set foot in the event room, her Force signature twining with his to let him know he wasn’t alone. She leaned in to whisper “How did you and Finn pull this off last week?” in his ear.

For a moment, he struggled to process the question. Rey’s proximity in this context was new and, in a weird way, confusing. “Huh?”

“This fake date thing,” she continued. “What did you do for it?”

 _We probably should have discussed this ahead of time,_ Ben thought. Leave it to him and Rey to run head first into something without a plan. “We held hands,” Ben said. “And, uh. We kissed.” Days later, and he was still replaying it in his head. It hadn’t even been a big kiss; it was a quick peck on the lips that made Ben wonder if he was supposed to enjoy kissing his fake boyfriend that much.

“Oh?” It was unclear from Rey’s tone how she felt about the idea of him kissing Finn. He desperately wanted to believe it was something benign, like curiosity; at worst, she could be angry about it.

Or jealous. Ben hadn’t ruled out the possibility of Finn and Rey having feelings for each other, which made this whole charade even more bizarre.

“Just once,” he clarified. “And it was just for show, of course.”

“Of course,” she said, although she sounded slightly unsteady. “So does that mean we should—um—”

Ben felt his face grow hot as he understood what she was asking. “I mean, we don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable with it. It just sort of happened for us. Finn’s a good actor.”

“Ben,” she said, giving his hand a quick squeeze. “Haven’t you learned by now that I’ll do anything for you? Up to and including taking out an entire battalion of Force-sensitive knights.”

Oh, he remembered. He was never going to forget the ferocity in her eye as they brought down the Knights of Ren together while Finn led a stormtrooper revolution elsewhere in the final battle against the First Order. “Point taken,” he said, squeezing her hand back.

Entering the banquet hall itself as Rey’s date went about as well as they had expected. Despite the nervousness that was rolling off of her in the Force, Rey marched in on Ben’s arm like there was nothing unusual about it. He felt tremors of horror in the Force as people started to register who was accompanying Rey; while it made Ben even more apprehensive, it seemed to fuel her fire. “I know you don’t like Poe, but he’s one of the only people here I know, so we’re sitting with him,” she muttered.

“And I didn’t think this could get any more awkward.” Ben didn’t think he and Dameron would have gotten along even if he hadn’t tortured the pilot while he still went by the name Kylo Ren. Having that shared past made it even more fraught.

“You apologized, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but ‘sorry I tortured you after slaughtering an entire village looking for information you had’ isn’t the easiest thing to move past.”

Rey gave him a skeptical look. “I think you’re projecting your own guilt onto him.”

It was a definite possibility. And it was not the first time she’d suggested it. “Maybe. Is Rose coming?” The mechanic was one of the few people who Ben could actually stand, mostly because she was half his size and could still probably hold her own against him in a fight.

“She hates these things about as much as you and I do. Considering she isn’t pretending to date you to improve your reputation, I doubt it.”

“That’s a shame.”

The table Rey led him to was surrounded by a number of people Ben half-recognized from the times he’d spent in meetings towards the end of the war when he was involved in intelligence gathering. “Mind if we sit here?” she asked, already pulling out a chair.

Ben couldn’t completely hide his smile at Rey’s nonchalance in the face of a table full of high-ranking New Republic officials whose expressions were ranging from confused to horrified at the sight of him standing with her. She hadn’t let go of his hand when she sat down, so she tugged at it, urging him to join her. _Here we go,_ he thought grimly. “Good evening,” he said, trying to infuse as much ease into his tone as he was capable of doing.

“Ben’s my date,” Rey said. “We’re dating now, so you’ll probably see a lot more of him.”

 _That_ provoked a reaction. Dameron choked on his drink, but Ben saw more than a few exchanged glances from the other people seated at the table. “Subtle,” he deadpanned.

Rey shrugged. “You know they were wondering anyway.” The statement didn’t necessarily refer to their shared Force-sensitivity, but it was immediately obvious that everyone at the table thought that Ben was about to break out in some sort of Force power magic to steal all their secrets. “Oh, for—” Rey groaned. “ _Context clues_. He’s not a mind-reading monster.”

“Experience has shown us otherwise,” former lieutenant Connix snarked.

“I don’t do that anymore,” Ben said before Rey could leap to his defense. “I’m just trying to have a nice evening with my girlfriend, who is enjoying this far too much.”

She shrugged again, grinning this time. “Is it so wrong that I want other people to see why you’re so wonderful?”

“No, but I don’t think any of them want to date me.”

“Their loss.” Her tone was so matter-of-fact that it threw him for a loop. Did she really see him like someone who was worthy of love?

What threw him for a bigger loop, however, was the way she leaned over to give him a quick peck on the corner of his lips. It was over before he could process the fact that Rey was kissing him. He would have thought he’d hallucinated it, but when he looked at her, she was blushing as furiously as he was.

Ben’s stunned silence was enough of a kick for Dameron to say, “So, Rey, you still thinking about enrolling as a part-time flight instructor? The war may be over, but people still have to travel, you know?”

Conversation never truly flowed, but it got considerably less stilted after the initial shock of Ben’s appearance. Rey stayed by his side, occasionally leaning in to whisper something to him. She never said anything deep or profound—mostly commentary about the topic of conversation—but he knew it was all part of the act, to make them look like they were whispering words of affection to each other.

The thing was, it was so easy to fall into the role of Rey’s boyfriend that he didn’t even think twice about wrapping his arm around her shoulders when the dinner was over and they were standing around outside, waiting for a hover. Dameron, Connix, and the handful of high-ranking former Resistance members were standing with them as everyone said their goodbyes for the night. “Ready to put on a show?” Rey whispered in his ear.

He turned his head to look at her. “What are you—” _Planning,_ he’d been about to ask, but then she kissed him and his mind turned into mush.

All things considered, it was a bit awkward. They were at a weird angle and it was immediately clear to Ben that she’d had little practice, if any, with kissing. It was over almost as soon as it began, making him simultaneously wish it could last longer and feel like he was in over his head with this fake relationship already.

“Oh,” he said, surprised at how dry his throat was.

It was difficult to tell with the street lights, but—was Rey _blushing_? “Did we do it right?” she whispered.

“Uh,” he said, still scrambling to make sense of the situation. “I think?”

She nodded, then pulled away. “Good,” she breathed. “I think we can deem this evening a success.”

“Rey,” he said. “It was awkward as hell and I think half of them are worried I worked some sort of dark side magic on you.”

“Nonsense, they know I am more than a match for you.” She traced a hand down the scar she’d left on his face the day they’d met. “You project too much.”

He disagreed, but he wasn’t feeling inclined to open that can of worms. Not when he had Rey touching him so tenderly after an awkward-yet-perfect kiss given solely for the benefit for the witnesses around them.

“Come on,” she said. “Speeder’s here. Take me home, _boyfriend._ ”

Ben had known this was a terrible idea from the start, but it hadn’t hit him just how terrible of an idea it was until he realized how badly he wanted that invitation to mean something other than _Escort me home so that people think we’re dating for real_.

Shit. He was such a karking idiot.

—

It took less than a month—during which he went on three more fake dates with Rey and two more with Finn—for Ben to start having a breakdown about his arrangement with them. He fell into the roles far too easily, which forced him to acknowledge something he’d been pushing under the rug for far too long: he was in love with both Rey and Finn.

The more he thought about it, the worse it got. If he confessed his feelings for Finn, then what would Rey think? But if he told either of them how he felt about Rey, what about Finn? Ben's life experiences hadn't equipped him for a situation where he was in love with two people at once—and at this point, he couldn’t ignore the fact that it was, in fact, love. With two people who he was faking relationships with at the same time.

What a kriffing mess.

And it wasn't like he'd be able to choose between them, either. He didn't love Finn any more or less than he loved Rey, and he couldn't stomach the idea of hurting either of them. No, the only thing left to do was to break it off with both of them and run away to become a hermit in the proud Skywalker family tradition. Which meant that his next step was to figure out where the hell he could exile himself to, followed by figuring out how to cut himself off from the Force. Both Finn and Rey were capable of hunting him down across the galaxy, whether they realized it or not. It was fine, Ben reasoned. They'd always been close, and they'd figure out how to move on without him.

He was pacing around the ship repair area in the main capital hanger while killing time before Finn and Rey finished up their respective workdays when he nearly tripped over Rose Tico. She and Ben had never been particularly close, but...

"Are you okay?" she asked, pushing herself to her feet. "I think this is the first time you've made an appearance down here. Are you hiding from someone?"

Ben hesitated. He didn't want to betray Finn's or Rey's confidences about their agreement, even to Rose, who was good friends with both of them. But there was only so much he could shoulder alone, and maybe someone who knew both Finn and Rey well would be able to provide insight that Ben was missing. "I have a friend who's in a...strange situation," he said slowly, "but I'm not sure I'm equipped to give him the right advice."

It was so transparent that he was thrown for a loop when Rose didn't immediately call him out on it. "Are you asking me for advice for your friend?"

Ben nodded. "I mean, you might not have the answer. You probably won't have the answer. It's a weird situation."

In response, Rose handed him a bundle of tools. "Come on," she said. "You help me fix an engine and I'll listen to your _friend's_ problem."

They worked in silence for a few minutes before Ben worked up the courage to say it. "Is it possible to be in love with two people at once?"

He couldn't see Rose from where he was—they were on opposite sides of the engine—so he couldn't gauge her reaction easily. "I don't see why not," she said. "Love isn't a finite resource, is it?"

Ben wasn't certain that was correct, but he felt something unwind in him at Rose's words. "I—my friend doesn't know what to do about it," he added.

“Does your friend know if either of the people he’s in love with return the sentiment?” Rose asked.

Ben paused. Was there a chance that either Finn or Rey returned his feelings? His initial gut reaction was to think _How could they possibly love someone like me_ before he realized that they had to care about him in some capacity, even if it wasn't full-on stupid-in-love like he was. "They care about him," he finally said, "but he isn't sure how deep that goes."

"Is there anything to lose by telling these people how y—he feels?" The slip was so quick that he barely noticed, but it was enough to set his cheeks and ears aflame.

"There's a lot to lose," he admitted. He didn't really have any close friends outside of Finn and Rey. There were a few people here and there, like Rose, but if he lost Finn's or Rey's friendships because he told them how he felt? He couldn't imagine it. Not to mention, there was the whole complication of not wanting to have to choose between the two of them and being terrified of the idea of being a wedge between them.

"The way I see it," Rose said, banging her wrench on the deflector shield generator, "is there are two choices in this situation: you—I mean, _your friend_ —can tell these people how he feels and get it off his chest, or he can hold it in until it becomes a barrier that splits the friendships apart or until it bursts like a dropped soda." The banging stopped, then she added, "I suppose running away is technically an option, but I wouldn't recommend that."

"No, you'd shock my friend with an electro-shock prod," Ben teased, smiling as he thought about the way Finn had told the story of how he and Rose had met.

"Right you are," she said cheerfully. "It may not be the advice you want to hear, but it's the best advice I’ve got. If living through a war has taught me one thing, it's that you never know when you'll get a second chance."

She was right, but then again, Ben wasn't sure what advice he'd been hoping to hear. _Ignore it until it goes away,_ he supposed. "Thanks for listening," he said, still feeling unsure as to what his next move needed to be.

Rose beamed up at him. Oh, she definitely knew who he was talking about, and she was loving every second of it. Ben bit the inside of his cheek, trying to calm himself down. She was amused, but it didn't seem like a malicious amusement. "For what it's worth," she added, taking the tools from him, "I think telling them the truth is the way to go. Your friend may be surprised by the response."

He wasn't nearly as certain as she was, but he knew a dismissal when he saw one.


	3. Ben's Plan

Of course, simply because he'd been given advice didn't mean he followed it. At least not immediately.

At the next event Ben attended as Finn's fake boyfriend, things started to feel real in a way they hadn't before Ben had come to the terrifying conclusion that he was in love. It was obvious that Finn had picked up on something based on the way he seemed cautious in the Force, even though he appeared as comfortable as ever, talking and joking with his former comrades-in-arms. To Ben's relief, he didn't say anything about it until there was a lull in festivities.

By that point, Finn had been casually leaning against Ben for most of the evening, his arm wrapped soldly around Ben's waist. It was so comfortable sitting like this that Ben almost forgot why they were making this appearance in the first place. It wasn't until someone made a joke about anniversaries that Ben remembered that Finn wasn't actually his boyfriend.

Finn, sensing Ben's sudden spike of panic, gave Ben's waist a squeeze. "Everything okay?" he whispered in Ben's ear.

_Oh, sure, everything's fine, just trying to convince myself that this isn't real_ , Ben thought. _No big deal_. "It's fine," he replied.

Finn pinched Ben's waist. "Liar."

The silly gesture suggested that Finn had absolutely no idea the effect this was having on Ben. "It's top-secret," he said, praying that no one could see how hard he was blushing. "Need-to-know basis."

"Oh?" The playfulness in Finn's tone made Ben's heart beat faster. "What do I have to do in order to get into the top-secret Ben Solo inner circle?"

Despite all the anxiety he felt around telling Finn how he felt, Ben couldn't pretend to lie. "You're already there."

When he glanced at Finn out of the corner of his eye, the fond expression on his fake— _fake!_ —boyfriend's face nearly made him confess everything right then and there. But no, there was Rey to consider; Ben wasn't sure this was a conversation he wanted to have without her.

"For what it's worth," Finn murmured, giving him a look so affectionate that it made Ben’s heart feel like it was on fire, "you're in my inner circle, too."

* * *

Two days later Ben found Rose in the garage again.

"So," the mechanic said by way of greeting. "Did your friend tell them yet?"

Ben simply held out a hand for a tool. "He's still working on it."

* * *

"How are things going with Finn?" Rey whispered as she and Ben hung around on the edge of a function room, waiting for the food table to open up. Free food was a powerful motivator for event attendance; an even more powerful motivator was the opportunity to spend time with the woman by his side.

"Good. Great." The words were nearly choked out. "Why do you ask?"

Rey shrugged in a manner that was far too casual. "Just wondering. He and I are close, like you and I are."

That gave Ben pause. It wasn't news that Finn and Rey were friends, but was she suggesting they were...? “Right,” he said, uncertain of how else to respond to that statement. “Wait, are you saying the two of you sit around talking about me?”

She flashed him a smile that made him feel warm all over. “Just about how great of a fake boyfriend you are.”

Right. The fake thing again. But the way she said it made him wonder if she’d started feeling like it wasn’t completely pretend anymore. “What can I say?” Ben murmured, praying the words didn’t sound as awkward as he felt saying them. “You make a great fake girlfriend and Finn makes a great fake boyfriend. Highly recommended. 10/10 would fake date again.”

She opened her mouth to say something, then paused. “I’ve been having fun with this, actually,” she admitted. “I think Finn has, too.”

Ben got the sense that it wasn’t what she’d originally planned on saying, but the words filled his heart with hope anyway. “I agree,” he murmured. “It has been fun.”

They stood there, staring at each other. Was she thinking the same thing he was? No. No way. She couldn’t be. She liked Finn, didn’t she?

Except that it suddenly felt like they were both daring the other to be the first one to say something. And Ben had no idea what that something was.

In retrospect, standing near the food table wasn’t the wisest decision of a place setting for a discussion like this. Rey seemed like she was going to be the one to take up the challenge of speaking first when a caterer bumped into Ben, knocking him into Rey and causing them to stumble backwards. Next thing he knew, he had Rey pressed up against the wall so tightly that he was certain she could feel his heart pounding in his chest. “Sorry,” he said, unable to believe how close they were standing.

“Don’t be.” Rey’s voice sounded unsteady, which was at odds with the look in her eyes. “I don’t mind. You are my boyfriend, after all.” Before the words could get through Ben’s embarrassed haze, she added, “Fake boyfriend, I mean.”

Of course that was what it came down to. “Is this what they call a stolen moment?” he asked. She didn’t seem like she wanted him out of her space; on the contrary, she’d wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close. It was such a small gesture, but his heart was on fire with the idea that she liked having him in her space like this.

“Not quite,” she said, tilting her head up to capture his lips with hers. And oh, he knew it was all part of some convoluted scheme to make him feel more accepted in New Republic society, but Ben sank into the feeling of having Rey in his arms, and soon he completely forgot what the point had been in the first place.

It wasn’t like the other time they’d kissed. That had been nerve wracking because they’d both been aware that it was a necessary part of a performance. This didn’t feel faked; when Rey deepened the kiss, Ben practically sighed into it. It wasn’t quite the same as kissing Finn had been, but that was okay. Neither of these experiences were meant to be a competition.

Hell, he nearly forgot that they were in a very public area, making out next to the food table until he heard the sound of someone pointedly clearing their throat. He could feel the exact moment Rey remembered where they were as well, both from the jolt she gave in the Force and in the way she froze.

To Ben’s surprise, she didn’t immediately push him away. If he hadn’t known any better, he’d have said she was making a show of the way she didn’t appreciate being interrupted. It might have been funny if he wasn’t so confused by how convincing of an actress she’d become.

“Can we help you?” she asked, looking at someone over Ben’s shoulder while he tried to figure out who wasn’t afraid to interrupt the Jedi savior of the galaxy and the man formerly known as Kylo Ren.

The identity of the person who had just interrupted them became clear a moment later, the smirk evident in his tone. “Just wanted to come say hi to my two favorite Jedi.”

Despite the lingering guilt felt over the way he’d interrogated Poe Dameron way back when, Ben couldn’t keep himself from muttering, “You could have picked a better time.”

Rey snorted, then loosened her grip on him. Ben braced himself for the inevitable push away. To his surprise, she gave him a quick peck on the cheek before unwrapping herself from him without stepping too far away. “We’re not Jedi,” she reminded Dameron.

He looked between them with an expression that Ben wanted to punch off his face, interrogation guilt be damned. “Obviously not,” Dameron said. “I mean, the Jedi were forbidden from falling in love and all.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Our relationship is none of your business,” she snapped.

If anything, Dameron looked even more amused. “Well, you two _were_ just making out in the middle of a public function. You were making your relationship everyone’s business.”

Ben felt his face heat up. When he sneaked a look at Rey, she was also looking rather pink. “You came to say hi, and you said it. Stop teasing my boyfriend. Do you know how hard it was to get him to come out with me this evening?” There it was again, the stupid jolt to his heart upon hearing the word _boyfriend._ Kriff, he was so screwed.

“It’s funny,” Poe said. “I could have sworn I heard that Ben and Finn were dating.”

Ben willed himself to stay calm, but he could feel Rey’s anxiety spike in the Force alongside his. “Who told you that?” she asked, her voice sounding far steadier than her Force signature implied.

The pilot shrugged. “Just a rumor I heard. You know how new recruits are. We’ve had interest from some former stormtroopers who want to become New Republic pilots, but we’re not sure everyone’s ready for that yet.”

Kriff. They knew this was going to happen eventually as the remains of the First Order and Resistance started to mingle and get to know each other. Hell, unifying both sides was exactly what they all wanted. But Ben had never expected that Poe Dameron, of all people, would be the one questioning whether he was dating Finn or Rey.

Rey, who was far better at adapting than Ben was, turned to give him a mischievous look. “Well, if he’s going to cheat on me, at least he has good taste.”

Poe laughed, but Ben felt the ease he’d felt about kissing Rey slip away at the reminder that she wanted Finn. “That almost sounds like an endorsement,” he said, unsure of where he was getting the strength to act like he was cool with the whole thing.

She shrugged. “I might be willing to share. Only with Finn, though.”

Ben was at a loss for words. Rey must have planned for this conversation to happen at some point, Ben realized. Of course she wasn’t consumed with her struggle to hide her feelings from him. She didn’t have the same feelings he had for her, so there was nothing to hide.

“Point taken,” Dameron said, although he seemed a little less comfortable than he had been a moment ago. “You two are funny.”

“Now that we’ve fulfilled your need for spreading rumors,” Rey said, “do you mind? I’d like to get something to eat while my boyfriend and I make our obligatory event appearance.”

Dameron stepped back, gesturing towards the banquet tables that were now covered in food. “Of course,” he said. “I would never get in between you and dinner.”

Whether it was meant to be a joke about Rey’s upbringing or not, Ben couldn’t tell. He had half a mind to open his mouth and tell Dameron to shove it, but Rey was already pushing through the crowd, pulling Ben along with her.

“That was close,” she said under her breath once they’d slunk back to the outskirts of the function room, carrying plates laden with hor d'oeuvres. “I thought it would take longer for people to realize that you’re dating both of us.”

“Fake,” he couldn’t stop himself from muttering as he stared down at his plate. “I guess it’s a good sign that people are starting to move past the Stormtrooper-Resistance barrier.”

“Mm.” She seemed much less at ease than she had a few minutes ago. Ben supposed that Dameron was to blame. “I meant what I said,” she told him.

“What?”

“About sharing you with Finn. I don’t mind.” Before Ben could figure out a way to respond to that, she added, “I mean, Finn’s incredible. I see why you care about him so much.”

Ben felt the color drain from his face. “Is it that obvious?” he asked, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach.

“It’s okay,” Rey said softly. “I get it.”

Of course she did. But Ben’s feelings for Finn were only half the picture. Now wasn’t the time, nor was it certainly the place, but he was going to have to sit down with both of them sooner rather than later so that they could sort it out. “I’m glad I have your blessing,” he said, putting levity in his tone that he didn’t actually feel. He didn’t bother to hide his distress in the Force, hoping that Rey would pick up on it and ask him about it.

To his disappointment, she didn’t take the bait. Maybe she was too wrapped up in her love for Finn to worry about Ben’s distress over their relationship. “I just want you to be happy, Ben,” she said. “That’s all.”

Ouch. He didn’t know that getting someone’s blessing could sting so much.

* * *

“I heard a rumor,” Finn said by way of greeting when he showed up at Ben’s apartment unannounced two days later.

Uh-oh. Nothing good ever came of rumors. “About what?”

“That you and Rey are madly in love with each other.” Finn’s tone _sounded_ amused, but Ben could barely stop himself from reading too much into it.

_Not quite,_ Ben wanted to correct him. “That’s the point of this, isn’t it?”

“Indeed.” Ben was unsure of how to interpret Finn’s tone or his facial expression. More amusement, he supposed. “Come on, we’re going out.”

“Out where?” he asked, reaching for his jacket. Like a lovesick idiot, he’d be happy to follow Finn anywhere.

“We were invited to go out with Oranges to celebrate her birthday,” Finn explained. “And when I say ‘we’, I do mean ‘we.’ Your presence was specifically requested along with mine.”

When they’d started this plan, Ben hadn’t really cared about making friends. His main goal had been to make Finn happy, and Ben wasn’t going to say no to spending time together. But hearing that someone actually wanted him around was oddly satisfying.

Huh. Maybe he did want to be accepted, after all.

Ben didn’t realize he’d been frozen in place until Finn placed his hand on Ben’s arm. “Are you okay?” he asked, frowning. “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I just thought—”

“No, I want to go,” he was quick to reassure Finn. “I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

The expression on Finn’s face shifted into something far more tender. “You’re surprised that someone likes you?”

Ben was _not_ going to tear up over the wave of protectiveness he felt Finn exude in the Force. Absolutely not.

“Ben,” Finn said softly, placing a hand on Ben’s cheek. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but…” Ben was barely breathing, his brain going into overdrive at the tenderness in the gesture. There wasn’t anyone around. Finn didn’t have to pretend to care about him like this. “You are far more likeable than you give yourself credit for. I know it. Rey does, too.”

Once again, he found himself wondering exactly what Finn and Rey discussed when Ben came up in conversation between them. The idea that they discussed him with any sort of affection was completely alien to him, and yet he could almost believe it from the way Finn was looking at him right now.

“I…” It was hard to form words when Finn was standing so close that they were practically breathing the same air.

Finn caught on that Ben was uncomfortable, but for the wrong reason. “Sorry,” he said, stepping away. It was all Ben could do to not grab his hand to keep it exactly where it had been resting on his cheek, but that would be desperate and he didn’t want to take up Finn’s energy when there was Rey to consider. “I didn’t mean to get up in your space like that. I know you—”

“It’s fine,” Ben said, cutting off Finn for the second time in the last five minutes. He didn’t want to hear the end of that sentence. “I, uh.” This was the perfect opportunity to at least indicate how he felt about Finn, if not confess the whole thing, but he backed out at the last moment. “It’s fine.”

There was a pause as they lingered in the doorway of Ben’s apartment, taking each other in. The air felt heavy with Ben’s tangled feelings. He was simultaneously praying and dreading the idea of Finn asking him about the way his Force signature had suddenly changed.

Taking control of the conversation was the best way to stop that warring indecision. “Shall we?” Ben said, turning away to lock the door behind him. When he looked back at Finn, he was wearing another unreadable expression, his hand held out in front of him. Ben’s heart skipped a beat when he took Finn’s hand.

The birthday celebration, as it turned out, was in a bar in a different part of the city than Ben usually spent his time in. “It’s usually full of former First Order stormtroopers,” Finn explained in the speeder. “Not a lot of former Resistance members or New Republic officials. Should be safe from people who would question why you’re with me if you’re dating Rey.”

“She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

Damn. Ben had been hoping that Rey had filled Finn in on the conversation they’d had with Dameron. Maybe Finn didn’t know she was in love with him, and she’d been afraid of having to explain the implications of that conversation.

Like Finn didn’t feel the same way about her. Kriff.

“Poe Dameron said he’d heard a rumor that you and I were dating, even though Rey and I were at the event together.” No need to mention the kiss they’d shared. He didn’t want to hurt Rey’s feelings by letting Finn think she liked Ben instead. “I guess more people are crossing former enemy lines than we realized.”

Finn made a noncommittal hum, leaving Ben to wonder if he needed to give more details of that conversation or not. “It’s a good thing, right?” Ben added. “That people are mingling, I mean. Even if it does mean there’s a risk that people will question our relationship, or my relationship with Rey.”

“It’s okay, you know,” Finn said. “I know that you and Rey have always had a thing. With the Force and all.” Ben opened his mouth to correct him, but Finn continued, “And don’t tell me that I’m part of it, too. I could never do the things you and Rey can do.”

“You haven’t let us teach you,” Ben protested.

“It’s okay that you have feelings for Rey,” Finn said, ignoring Ben. “Hell, she’s amazing. I absolutely see what you see in her.”

Oh no. This again. “Maybe you should talk to Rey about this,” Ben said stiffly.

“Maybe,” Finn replied, sounding unconvinced. “But that will have to wait. We’re here.”

The conversation didn’t feel quite over, but as soon as they stepped into the surprisingly crowded bar, Finn’s arm was around Ben’s waist as if they hadn’t just been discussing how they both felt about another person.

As the night went on, Ben started to forget about the fact that neither Finn nor Rey felt the same way about him as he felt about them. The way he and Finn never lingered long from each other’s side felt more intimate than clingy, and it felt so natural that Ben didn’t even think anything of it when Finn stole a kiss at one point.

It was quick—far too quick for Ben’s liking, if he was being honest—but it was not without the sort of passion that made him want more. Finn pulled back a moment later, his horror evident in the Force. “Sorry,” he whispered. “I got a little carried away.”

“Don’t be,” Ben said, reaching for him again. The kiss was slower this time, a lingering gesture that did not feel at all like it was done for the benefit of anyone else. When Finn deepened the kiss, Ben clean forgot they were in the middle of a crowded bar filled with people who didn’t know he was faking two separate relationships. All he could think about was how warm Finn’s body was against him and how badly he wished this were real so that he could actually take Finn home with him and show him exactly how he made Ben feel.

The sound of people cheering broke the spell as the fact that they were making out in the middle of a crowded bar came rushing back to both of them at once. The look on Finn’s face said that he’d completely forgotten, too. If Ben hadn’t been so caught up in his panic about getting carried away, he would have seen the way Finn’s expression was just as hungry as his.

As it was, he didn’t miss the way Finn gave a shaky laugh. “What, I can’t kiss my boyfriend?” he said, loosening his grip on Ben’s waist. (When had that happened? Ben had been so wrapped up in kissing Finn that he’d failed to notice how tightly they were holding each other.)

“If you had asked me three months ago if I thought Kylo Ren could be half of a cute couple, I’d have said you were delusional,” Oranges said. Ben winced at the sound of his former name, but the awkwardness was dispelled a moment later and replaced by something warm and fuzzy when she added, “But you two are the cutest couple I’ve seen in a long time.” She held up her glass. “To former stormtroopers and Supreme Leaders everywhere,” she said. “May we all one day find the same happiness you two have found with each other.”

* * *

Ben failed abysmally to stop himself from falling into the role of Finn’s boyfriend even after they said goodbye to their friends (he actually had _friends!_ ). “That was a lot more fun than I thought it was going to be,” he admitted as they stood outside the bar. He had an arm wrapped around Finn’s shoulder, dreading the part of the evening that he’d have to let go.

What would happen, he wondered, if he told Finn how badly he wanted him?

Finn shifted in his arm, turning to look at him. “You can do it, you know,” he whispered.

“Do what?”

“Whatever it is you’re thinking,” Finn replied, leaning in. “I won’t stop you.”

Ben felt his face heat up. “Is it that obvious?”

Finn laughed softly, then kissed Ben’s neck. “Just a little.”

Ben Solo had spent his entire life trying to be strong. To resist temptation. To do the hard thing. But fuck that. It wasn’t that Rey wasn’t on his mind—or on Finn’s mind, he’d wager—but right here, right now, it was hard to ignore the way he felt about Finn.

He leaned in, closing the distance between them. It was freeing, not having to pretend that he wasn’t attracted to his fake boyfriend, and his heart practically soared with the knowledge that the attraction was mutual. Kissing Finn when there wasn’t anyone around to perform a fake relationship in front of felt so right that he didn’t even think to say no when Finn suggested they go back to his apartment.

The speeder ride was simultaneously too long and not long enough. Ben didn’t want to stop kissing Finn, but he wasn’t going to attempt to take things any further while they were in a speeder.

Stars, he loved this guy. It was big and terrifying and it nearly made the whole fake relationship angst worth it. In retrospect, Ben realized as he followed Finn into his apartment, he’d had these feelings for his friend since far before he’d suggested they pretend to date.

Finn made no attempt to hide his enthusiasm. Somehow they made it to the couch in Finn’s living room, jackets tossed aside in favor of getting close together. Ben’s experience with kissing and sex was minimal, but Finn didn’t seem to mind his lack of finesse.

They’d barely spoken since they left the bar. Feeling too caught up in each other was nice, but as Finn pressed him down against the couch, things started to feel far too real. “Wait,” Ben said, the single syllable feeling far too difficult to say with Finn sucking a mark into his neck.

Finn paused. “What is it?” he asked, nuzzling Ben’s cheek. The gesture was so sweet, so intimate that Ben hated himself for having to ruin the moment.

“It’s Rey,” Ben said. He couldn’t do this to her. He loved her far too much to fool around with the man she was in love with, even if he happened to be in love with him, too.

“What about Rey?” Finn hadn’t moved, but the atmosphere had already shifted.

“She’s—” Shit, did Finn not know how Rey felt about him? Ben couldn’t be the one to tell him that. It was Rey’s secret to tell. “I can’t do this to her.”

Finn pushed himself up, making Ben feel like the room had dropped about ten degrees as they sat on opposite ends of the couch. “Right,” he said hollowly. “Of course. You’ve got that thing between you two.”

That was not what it was about, but Ben didn’t see any other excuse. “No, it’s—I don’t know,” he said. “But I don’t feel right doing this with you without talking to her.” He couldn’t bear to see the expression on Finn’s face, so he kept his gaze pinned to the floor. “I’d do the same for you if she and I—” Finn made a noise of distress, causing Ben to finally look up from the floor. “I mean, I know we’re all pretending, but this is starting to feel a little too real,” he finished, unsure of how to interpret the look on Finn’s face.

Finn seemed to be at a loss for words. “I can’t stand the thought of hurting either of you,” Ben admitted, pushing himself to his feet. “But I think I should leave now.” He was halfway to the door when Finn finally spoke up.

“Ben…” His tone was heavy with some emotion that Ben didn’t know the name for, but he couldn’t bring himself to face him.

“I’ll see you later,” he said quietly, unable to look Finn in the eye.

* * *

Ben didn’t even have a day off from his fake relationships to deal with his angst. The day after the encounter in Finn’s apartment, he received a comm from Rey that simply read, _Can you come over?_

_I’ll be there soon,_ he replied. Like an idiot.

_Just come in when you get here,_ her reply said. _The front door is unlocked._

That seemed a little strange, but he supposed that if anyone could take care of themselves, it was Rey. What on earth was going on that she was sending him an unexpected request to come over? Sure, they spent time together when they weren’t pretending to date, but this seemed a little suspicious.

_Or maybe you’re just projecting,_ his inner voice said. _You feel guilty about last night and you don’t know how to tell Rey._

Oh, fuck. Had Finn already talked to her? Oh no. Ben had been hoping for at least a day or two before he had to tell Rey about it. This was too much emotional turmoil at once.

Well. If Finn had filled Rey in on last night’s activities, there wasn’t anything Ben could do to change that. But he had to come clean with her. With both of them.

Ten minutes later had Ben opening Rey’s front door with a heavy heart, indecision warring within him. Should he tell her now, or should he insist she invite Finn over so that the three of them could discuss it? What did he even expect her to say? What if—

He rounded the corner into Rey’s kitchen to find her and Finn locked in an embrace, and his heart actually stopped. Evidently, they weren’t too wrapped up in each other to lose track of their surroundings, because they both jumped apart, looking at him with identical worried expressions. “Ben?” Finn said as Rey gasped, “Kriff, your _heart_ , Ben. I _felt_ that.”

He was at a loss for words. “I—” He wanted to be happy for them. Clearly they’d both figured out that the affection they held for each other was mutual. And he _was_ , but he was also completely heartbroken at the confirmation that—

“Ben,” Rey murmured, placing a hand on his neck to check for his pulse. “My love.”

Love? But she and Finn—”What’s going on?” he asked faintly, his gaze darting between the two of them.

Finn and Rey exchanged glances, silently conferring. “We all screwed this up,” Finn said, looking back at Ben.

“Is this about last night?” Ben asked.

Rey’s eyebrows rose. “What happened last night?”

Oh, so she _hadn’t_ been informed. Then what the hell was all this? “Actually,” Finn said, “I hadn’t said anything about that in particular. Just that—well, last night you said that this was starting to feel too real, and I don’t exactly disagree, but I think things may have been real from the start, even if we didn’t all recognize it. I don’t want to have to pretend that I’m faking being in love with you anymore, nor do I want to pretend I’m not in love with Rey, either.”

How was it possible that he could take on an entire battalion of Force-sensitive knights without a second thought, and yet Finn’s words in plain Basic were nearly incomprehensible?

“I think you broke him,” Rey said to Finn. “You can’t feel how gobsmacked he is?”

“I don’t need the Force for that. I can see it in his expression.”

_What_

Rey flashed Ben a heart-melting smile. “He does have an expressive face, doesn’t he?”

_Is_

“Handsome, too.”

_Happening_

“Okay, now I’m starting to worry.”

“Ben?”

Ben had once been the Supreme Leader of the kriffing First Order and he was baffled by a former stormtrooper and a former scavenger.

"How did you know?" he managed to croak out. "How I feel, I mean."

Finn and Rey exchanged glances. "A guess, mostly," Rey said. "But, I mean, you're not exactly difficult to read. Not to me, at least."

Damn. He'd been hoping he was better at shielding from her than that. But it seemed like it was working out in his favor, so maybe it wasn't something he needed to feel sorry about.

"Nor me," said Finn. "And it's not a Force thing. I can't even measure up the two of you."

Ben and Rey exchanged glances. They wouldn't push the issue right now, but hopefully they'd be able to convince Finn that he had just as much right to call himself Force-sensitive as they did.

"So what happens now?" Ben asked. "I mean, I don't think we need to fake break up, or anything. At least, I hope not."

Finn and Rey were both quick to assure everyone that no one wanted that. "We don't have to change anything we're doing if we don't want to," Finn said. "If you want to maintain the facade of dating both me and Rey separately, we can go along with that—"

"No." It took him a moment to realize he needed to clarify. "I don't think it's fair for you two to pretend you're not involved, nor do I want people to think I'm cheating on either of you. I spent most of my life trying to hide various parts of myself. I don't want to spend the rest of my life hiding this, too.

“I mean," he added, starting to babble in his nervousness, "I'm not assuming that this is for life, we've barely even started, we don't have to make any long-term plans— _Oof_."

Finn and Rey chose that moment to launch themselves at Ben, leaving him feeling like they were both in a race to kiss him first. The end result was an awkward head-bonking that had them all laughing despite how awkward it had been. "Guess we'll have to work on that," Finn said.

"I have no objections to spending plenty of time practicing," Rey replied.

"Nor I," added Ben.

"In that case," Rey said, taking Finn's and Ben's hands in each of hers. "We’ve got the whole evening ahead of ourselves. Why don't we get started?"

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters two and three will be up within the next week, I promise :)
> 
> I am radioactivesaltghoul on [tumblr](https://radioactivesaltghoul.tumblr.com/) and [pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.social/radioactivesaltghoul) and r_saltghoul on [twitter](https://twitter.com/r_saltghoul).


End file.
